Brokefast

This is a somewhat civilized rant, but a rant nonetheless. Proceed at your own risk.

Breakfast time makes me want to throw-up. No, I am not pregnant. It's just that every time I sit down and start to get comfortable, somebody asks for more milk or cereal, or spills tiny shreds of shredded wheat all over the floor. And when I say, "asks" I mean something entirely different. Jane's primary form of communication in the morning is a high-pitched wailing whine that makes every hair on my head stand up on end and causes me gnash my teeth. At some point, something will spill, it's almost guaranteed. It's a good day if the spill is small or at least not liquid. And don't even get me started on Cheerios which have recently been welcomed back after a temporary ban from my house. I think about reinstating that ban every time I accidentally step on of those yummy little o's pulverizing it and spreading crumbs EVERYWHERE. At least 6 times during the course of the meal I will have to tell someone to sit down in their chair. Apparently my children are aliens from a planet where people constantly eat on the run while going about their day. Oh wait...

All of this occurs while one of Josh's teachers sits at the table observing the whole unpleasant experience and she and I discuss possible strategies for Joshua such as improving his behavior in the classroom or embarking on potty-training. Sometimes we even do assessments where she asks me questions like, "Is your child able to regulate his emotions?" or "How long can your child attend to a task?" and of course, my personal favorite, 'Is your child cruel to animals?" Not exactly conducive to good digestion.

I've never liked mornings. I feel like the whole day and all of it's obligations come crashing down on you just as you are waking from a pleasant slumber in a cozy and comfortable bed. It doesn't help that my alarm clock is often a crying child. And now that it's winter, it's cold outside of my down comforter, especially if the boiler has decided to quit at some point during the night. BRRRRR. Knowing what's in store for me, I think it's a miracle that I even get up in the morning. Luckily I have these cute faces to look at or I don't know what I'd do.

And yes, they are picking the chocolate off those doughnuts. It's their favorite way to eat doughnuts. I don't even want to talk about where all those doughnut crumbs and uneaten bits of chocolate end up.