First Day of School

The studious scholar...Not quite!
Joshua started preschool today! I tried to snap some quick pictures of him this morning but he wasn't really cooperating. He seemed to sense that was something was up. He kept jumping in and out of the chair. Once I put his backpack on, he got really excited and there was absolutely no photographing him. Besides, we were going to be late. (In fact, we would have been late if not for a miraculous string of green lights heaven-sent in answer to the desperately-muttered prayer, "Please don't let me make my little boy late on his first day of school." )

Once we got to the preschool, he took one look at the kids playing with toy school buses and quickly let go of my hand, too quickly. Didn't he know that I wasn't ready yet. I was trying to be a big girl and not cry in front of the other parents. I was carrying Jane in the Baby Bjorn and I squeezed her a little tighter. At least I didn't have to leave her here.As I sat in a tiny chair clutching Jane, unable to leave, I watched my happy boy play and started to feel a little better. Surely he would be okay. I'd met all of his teachers. They seemed nice. Realizing I was one of the few remaining parents I forced myself to stand up, to give Josh a kiss, and to walk out of the room. I hurriedly buckled Jane into her seat knowing that if I lingered I wouldn't be able to hold the tears back much longer. I did steal a look at the bus drivers all hanging out and decided there was no way I was ready to put Josh on a bus. I finally let myself cry while I was driving away. This was not really a good idea since I needed to see the road but seriously, I'm not known for my self-control. I said a quick prayer begging the Lord to keep my little boy safe and asking if he had a few spare angels who could spend the day at Josh's side. Realizing that I was only leaving him for two and a half hours and that someday I would have to send him on a mission for two years, I smiled, pulled myself together and made it home.

If my emotions seem a little intense, it's because a little over a week ago Joshua was diagnosed with a Pervasive Developmental Disorder. I found this definition on an informative site called Autism Speaks (www.autismspeaks.org)

"Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified, or PDD-NOS, for short, is a condition on the spectrum that has those with it exhibiting some, but not all, of the symptoms associated with classic autism. That can include difficulty socializing with others, repetitive behaviors, and heightened sensitivities to certain stimuli."

Basically, Josh exhibits some of the symptoms of autism but not all. His symptoms seem fairly mild and affect Josh's speech and communication as well as his social interactions with others. He also has a few sensory issues and repetitive behaviors. We've known this diagnosis was coming. Josh has been receiving home visits for speech since March and Special Education visits since July. His teachers have been wonderful and helped to prepare us before we went to see the developmental pediatrician. We also have some dear friends who are going through a similar thing with their boys and their support has been invaluable. We don't think it's an accident that we are blessed to know them, that Josh was blessed with loving teachers who function as part of an amazing Early Intervention Program, and that we were able to find such a great preschool so close to home. Josh is in a class with eleven others kids who have similar delays. He will attend his class five days a week and continue to get his four home visits a week, all at no cost to us. And while this schedule might seem like a lot, his teachers think Josh will benefit from this and the research says that with the right interventions at an early age, we can get Joshua caught up with his peers and in a regular classroom.

Some might wonder why I would write about such a private thing on a public blog, but all the people who read this blog are family and friends. We know you love Josh and will keep him in your prayers. Writing about this is easier than telling the story over and over again and is probably therapeutic for me. And finally if we can raise awareness and increase knowledge about Autism Spectrum Disorders, the lives of many children can be improved.

For our part, our family is coping and has received many blessings. We've been blessed to see the Lord's hand time and again in Joshua's life. We've been blessed to see Joshua's beautiful nature and happy heart. We've been blessed with supportive friends and family and excellent teachers. We know we are not alone and that Josh has an amazing future ahead of him.